Broken Bonds The Void In His Soul
by akatsuki41066
Summary: Itachi smiled in death,I had fulfilled my task,but after I killed him I didn't feel fulfilled.When I had seen his smile something in me was falling.Then it shattered,into a million tiny pieces to sharp to put back together.To small to matter. But I knew.


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**Disclaimer.  
I do not own Naruto. I do however own everything else. So don't fucking copy. Get it?**

**Full Summary for Shattered Bonds The Filling Of The Void:**

Itachi smiled in his death. He smiled like how I remembered from when I had been a small child. His smile proved that I had fulfilled my task as an avenger. The only task I had. But after I killed him I didn't feel fulfilled. If anything I felt a void wider and deeper than the first empty hole I had. When I had seen his smile something in me was falling. Then it shattered. Into a million tiny pieces to sharp to put back together. To small to matter. But I knew the difference. A part of me was dead. Nothing left but a void. A void that needed to be filled.

**Warnings**: Gay sex, Language, Graphic scenes and other such things. Children turn away this isn't for your eyes.

_**Chapter One:  
**His Death Brings Light_

Alone.

A word that is used so often but never is regraded for what it is.

What it means.

How it _feels_.

The way it makes even the strongest of men come to their breaking point.

I thought that being alone would be better for me. I foolishly decided to leave my village. Leave my friends back home. I threw Sakura's love and devotion back in her face, and yet she was there. She was there like a good friend would be. Should be. Even though I had left. I had broken our bond. Just as I had with Naruto.

I fought Naruto on many occasions. When we were younger we always were fighting. But as we grew older our little spars turned into full out fights that should only be for enemy nin. The last time I had seen him we fought. I even would have wounded him to the point of no return just to be alone if my replacement Sai hadn't stopped the blow to his torso.

It was so foolish. So incredibly stupid. A mistake I had made amongst a long list still growing. I almost had killed him. My best friend. The first person who made me smile and laugh. I was so stupid. When they were at the hideout I had been so...so _angry_ for them not leaving me alone.

Like I had planned to be.

Decided to be.

Wanted to be.

Craved to be.

Simply and utterly alone. A road of solitude that I created and molded for myself just for the one purpose I had to live.

Being an avenger.

It was my sole purpose in life. The only thing that made sense as to why everything happened. That's how it was supposed to be. It wasn't supposed to be this way. To be so painful. And the worst part was I didn't know why. Why did it hurt so much?

My head spinning with the same thoughts that had been plaguing me since I killed my brother. I had no idea how long it had been since then. My team left and I sat in a clearing not far from where my bother lay. It had been weeks that much I was sure. Karin would come and leave food and I would eat it long after it had gone stone cold.

I couldn't stop the memories. He smiled in his death. Smiled like how I remembered from when I had been a small child. The same smile he gave me before poking my head and saying he would train with me later. The sad but happy smile. His smile proved that I had won, that I had fulfilled what was meant to happen. But after I killed him I didn't feel fulfilled. If anything I felt a void wider and deeper than the first empty hole I had. The candle that was in my heart had blown out from a winter gust that ebbed its way into my heart. I felt worse than I had ever felt. When I had seen his smile something in me was falling. Then it shattered. Into a million tiny pieces to sharp to put back together. To small to matter. But I knew the difference.

When I saw his body fall I knew I had failed.

I had royally fucked up along the way.

Maybe if I had been nicer to people or if I bothered to help or just to be there and listen. If I had learned from my mistakes. Maybe things would be different. I could smile and still be in Konoha and have my brother and and mother and father and Naruto and Sakura. But I can't change what happened now. It was to late.

In the distance I could hear a stream while it trickled over the smooth rocks. I heard the wind whistle, rustling the leaves with it's silent melody. The moon, missing behind a thick layer of black clouds that twisted and twirled in the wind. My head hit the bark of the tree behind me as I looked at the black sky. After studying the sky for a few more moments I felt myself go numb at a realization that should have come sooner.

I was the night sky. I was as black as could be. I was cold and ruthless. Nothing would or could penetrate my dark rimmed hold on the moon. I had chosen to take this road alone and now I saw the consequences. My eyes watered. I killed the wrong man. I lost all my bonds because I had been blinded by rage. I killed so many people to get to the only thing I felt was revenge but it was all pointless.

I trembled as I felt myself come to my breaking point. The tears spilled out of my eyes. I was a weak pathetic boy still through and through. Nothing had changed. I was still weak. I never bothered to train the way I should have. I had completely screwed my life over. There was nothing left. I was alone in the dark just falling and sobbing alone where nobody could see me. Alone. I sat there in silence just watching the darkness of the sky.

I pulled my sword out deciding that my life needed to come to an end.

Had come to an end.

Nothing but emptiness and a whirl of emotions.

I pulled my sword out and brought it down on myself.

Blond hair and blue eyes yelling my name. Running at me waving his arms around with tears in his eyes. telling me to stop. 'teme stop it please.' I froze with the blade at my chest. Opening my eyes, my mind went blank trying to place the memory. But I couldn't. I sat frozen with the cool blade to my heart. Perhaps I was wrong. I still had bonds left. They may be worn and torn but not shattered or broken. Not like myself. If anybody could fix me and pull the pieces back together it would be them..._Him_.

I sat there for a few more minutes as I felt a small smile come to my face. The first true smile in years. The first time I had felt hope since I had been a child. _'I think its about time I went home'_ With those lingering thoughts, that's when I saw the first rays of sunlight peak over the horizon engulfing the dark sky into rays of brilliant purple and blues. Like a calling to me. Yes it was definitely time I went home. Home to where I belonged. Where I was wanted, where I was needed. Where I was welcomed.

And that place was with Naruto.

Naruto who was my sun consuming the darkness I called my life.


End file.
